How Pole Fitness Helped Lorna Brown-Owens Navigate Grief
Grief is a profound, often isolating experience, but for Lorna Brown-Owens, pole fitness became her sanctuary, a place of solace, healing, and rediscovery. Over the span of just four years, from 2020 to 2024, Lorna experienced the devastating loss of two brothers, her father, her sister, and finally her mother. The weight of so much loss could have been overwhelming, but in the midst of it all, she found strength and healing through the pole.
Finding Pole Fitness
Lorna’s journey into pole fitness began before grief entered her life. Approaching her 50s, she sought out an activity to manage changes brought on by the menopause. “I’d spent 50 years eating what I liked and not gaining weight,” she recalls. “Then menopause hit, and suddenly everything I ate seemed to stay on my hips.” That’s when she discovered pole fitness, a physically demanding but deeply rewarding activity.
Initially, pole was a fun and empowering way to stay fit. But when her first loss came in 2020 with the passing of her brother, pole took on new meaning. “It became my happy place,” she shares. “It was a space where I didn’t have to think about bills, emotions, or loss. It was just me and the pole. Nobody’s wife, mum, or sister, just Lorna.”
Grieving Through Movement
As the losses mounted, her father in 2021, her sister in early 2023, another brother in late 2023, and finally her mother in July 2024, pole fitness became a lifeline. Each spin, climb, and move allowed Lorna to process her grief in ways words couldn’t.
“Movement has always been a tool for me,” she says. “But during those times of loss, it allowed me to escape, to just breathe.”
Even after her mother passed away, Lorna found solace in returning to the pole almost immediately. “Mum died on a Saturday, and I taught a class that Monday,” she says. “Some people questioned it, but I knew I needed to do it. It gave me peace because she was finally at peace.”
Teaching at Empowerment Pole Studio in Corby has also played a significant role in Lorna’s healing journey. The studio not only provided her with a sense of purpose but also became a space where she could channel her emotions, inspire others, and be surrounded by a supportive community.
Reconnecting with Herself
Grief can disconnect you from your sense of self. For Lorna, pole fitness was instrumental in helping her rediscover her confidence and femininity. “When you’re a primary carer, you can feel so far from yourself,” she explains. “Your feelings and desires are on hold for someone else. But pole helped me reconnect with the parts of me I thought I’d lost.”
Lorna admits it’s been a journey. “Learning to love the sexy side of me again is a labour of love,” she says. “But every time I accomplish a new trick or push through a tough class, I’m reminded of what my body can do. That’s incredibly empowering.”
Honouring Her Loved Ones
For Lorna, pole fitness is more than an escape. It’s a way to honour the memories of her loved ones. “My mum would always roll her eyes at the things I did, but she loved me for it,” Lorna laughs. Her sister, Joan, once accompanied her to a private pole session just to watch. “She loved seeing me embrace something so unapologetically,” Lorna recalls. “Now, every time I step onto the pole, I carry them with me.”
She also reflects on the unwavering support of her father, who encouraged her in everything she pursued, and the pride her siblings expressed in her achievements. “Each move I make on the pole is for them,” she says. “It’s my way of keeping their memory alive.”
Advice for Others
When asked what advice she’d give to someone dealing with grief, Lorna emphasises patience and self-compassion. “If you’re considering pole as a form of healing, don’t put any pressure on yourself,” she advises. “Let it be your escape. It’s not about being perfect or keeping up with anyone else. It’s about finding that space to just be you.”
A Community of Support
Although grief is deeply personal, Lorna found support in the pole community. While she doesn’t share her struggles with everyone, the camaraderie in the studio has been invaluable. “The studio is a place where I can just be normal Lorna, not grieving Lorna, not mourning Lorna. Just me,” she says.
Living Fully
Today, Lorna’s outlook on life is profoundly shaped by her experiences with pole and loss. “Life is about living it fully, sucking the marrow out of every moment,” she says passionately. Whether it’s conquering a challenging move, supporting a fellow pole dancer, or simply taking time to herself, Lorna continues to honour her loved ones by embracing life with unapologetic joy.
“Every time I step onto the pole, I prove to myself and to the world that this 50-year-old Black woman can and will,” she says with a smile. “And I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”
Have you used movement to navigate grief or challenges?
Share your story in the comments below, or reach out to us directly. Let’s continue lifting each other, one spin at a time.
You can follow Lorna and her incredible pole journey on Instagram @serenity_h_brown.